Do you psychically ejaculate? I did.
It used to be like this:
I’d see an attractive woman and my attention, my energy, would leap out and be all over her arse, crotch and breasts.
My scruffy beast, my sexual essence, would get aroused and bang! Psychic ejaculation - my sexual power would be over there sniffing her crotch.
The problem is this:
What I began to notice is that when I did this, my power wasn’t in me any more. It had already bolted. It was all over her.
I’d even do it in my relationships. In feeling my desire for connection with my partner or for sex - bang. Even during sex it could happen.
I was psychically ejaculating long before I was doing it physically. Even often when physically wasn’t even a possibility.
The impact of this?
I began to notice was that when I did this, the attraction, the likelihood of satisfying interaction, the experience of flirting… all of it felt, well, less.
Less charge, less energy, less openness - this last one especially from her.
Basically she already had, whether she wanted it or not, a key component of what she might or was interested in getting close to - my power, my aliveness. My sense of sexual power. It was busy sniffing around her crotch.
Doing something different
Suddenly I understood a whole range unsatisfying of interactions I’d had with women.
So I started experimenting with keeping my energy in me. The effect was profound. Women were more open, playful, trusted me easier, were more attracted to me.
And critically, I noticed that when I did psychically ejaculate, I’d be fearful of approaching, of expressing, of being myself and going for what I wanted. When I kept my energy in me, taking action to create what I wanted felt fun, I’d feel alive and powerful.
And my experience in relationship… chalk and cheese to what I used to experience.
It’s a key part of feeling powerful and alive in my relationship.
So what’s the simplest way to not psychically ejaculate?
It’s a practice I call breathing the beauty in.
It’s simple - when you see someone you desire, you breathe your appreciation of their beauty, your desire, your yearning, deep into your body.
You’re not ‘pulling them in’, your just owning the the energy that this beauty has inspired in you.
Feeling the full experience and force of it inside your body.
When you get it, it’s a powerfully alive feeling. Interacting, touching, making love from a place of desire fully alive in you, your yearning to connect with that beauty burning bright inside, transforming your world.
Go out and try it. Right now.
I’d love to hear your experiences. And if you want to take that anchoring of your awareness deeper - come study with me.