What the on earth am I talking about?!?!? Everyone ‘knows’ that’s all men really want.
And I’m calling bullshit.
I work with men to help them have better relationships and sex, and when we dive right down into it we always seem to arrive at about the same place:
Most men yearn for deep connection - and usually only find it (often only occasionally) in sex.
It’s a powerful distinction.
It’s not about the sex. It’s about the connection.
It’s amazing the difference it’s made to men who’ve been able to shift their focus in their sex life from getting sex to getting connection.
It becomes no longer just about getting this connection from their partner. They open more fully to the range of yearnings and desires within themselves: including the self connection they yearn for.
And they open to being intimate with their partners in a completely different way. Sex loses some of it’s charge and angst and becomes, rather than the only dish in a meal, the highlight dish of a 5 course experience.
‘All men really want is sex’ is a red herring that can damage the true depth of connection between a man and a woman.
When they’re both able to open fully to their yearning for connection, and the special place sex plays in that connection, some real and powerful magic can happen.
Guys, l know you want sex.
But look into yourself, why? What does it give you? What do you yearn for? What’s missing when you get it but are still not satisfied?
Stop focussing on the sex, it’s most likely not what you really want. It’s a beautiful, fun and satisfying pathway to what you probably really want - deep connection.
How else can you satisfy and celebrate that yearning?
I’d love to know your thoughts.