Foreplay is so often talked about for men as something we need to do to get her in the mood, to have her interested, to get her ready, open, etc..
It is all that, but it misses the most important aspect of it.
It’s talked about like we have to do foreplay so we can get to “what we really want”.
As I’ve discussed before, what we really want is connection (i.e. The connection that sex brings).
That’s where ‘the most important’ bit comes in.
Foreplay is getting YOU prepared
Prepared to create an amazing sexual experience for both of you.
Or, foreplay is for you.
Foreplay, when you’re doing it for yourself, can have you grounded, clear, open and fully ready for the amazing experience which is deeply connected sex.
You can cultivate a state of deep readiness that fully celebrates and honours her opening to you.
You’ll last longer, experience more pleasure and cultivate your vitality far more deeply (i.e. Feeling a lot more alive rather than exhausted).
The key is not doing it to get her ready, but to help both of you to open deeply so you (and her) can have the best experience you can.
When both of you open...
To breathe fully, to let go of any charged emotions in your relationship, to activate your whole body, to give you both the space to open into the love, trust and connection that’s a pre-requisite for great sex.
It’s getting to that point where you’re both busting to take it deeper.
(Quick aside here, this is an important point for women to consider too, as I know many men do it before they’re really feeling ready “because she wants it”).
Foreplay primes you for the best experience of sex there is.
So take your time.
Stop ’trying’ to get her aroused.
Awaken yourself first. Ask for what you need to feel fully alive in your body.
Get as alive in your desire and body and energy as you possibly can. That in itself can be some of the best foreplay there is.
Yes delight and tease and play and open her - do it to open you as much as her.
Yes, foreplay of course is for both of you.
Don’t leave yourself out.