One of the amazing things I experienced becoming a father is the drive to provide for my family.
A whole new drive to have them safe, to provide a secure home and to ‘bring home the bacon’.
I still feel it, and yet it’s also been a big challenge in my connection with my family and with my partner.
You see, I got caught by the Provider. So clear and strong was I in providing, and so seriously did I take this part of my role, that I lost sight of being fully present around home.
It’s not what I thought I’d do. I’d seen Dads who got obsessed with work and didn’t spend enough time with their families, and I’d never understood how they could do it.
Now I do.
Not that I went to an extreme case. But it did end up being one of the biggest challenges in my relationship to date. I wasn’t putting enough into the little things around home as I was so busy doing everything I could to provide.
A man’s urge to provide is powerful and strong and awesome, yet it can also be a trap. And it can break relationships if you get too caught in it.
Take a good clear look at how you’re spending your time, are you spending the time you want with your family?
Ask your partner if she’s getting enough of you. If you’re kids are older, ask them.
Can you provide a little less, and give a little more?