Everyone is going to have their own take of course, but as succinctly as possible, here’s my take on it.
Being a man is having the courage to be yourself.
It’s actually having the courage to not ‘be A man’, but to ‘be YOUR man’.
This idea that there is a man to be, that there’s an ideal we should aspire to be is wrapped up in this whole idea of ‘being a man’.
It immediately points to some ideal concept of what a man is.
Instead, be your man. The man you already are. The man that you express and live and explore being everyday.
This idea that we aren’t a man and that there’s something we have to do to be a man is, I think, toxic in our culture.
A man is a man. You can be a man acting out your boy, a man playing small, a man being inauthentic, a man being magnificent, a man being powerful…. But still you’re a man.
It’s the journey of being your man that’s the powerful one.
Of continually exploring and uncovering you and what you bring to the world.
Of living your particular uniqueness in the world.
It’s that ‘being yourself’ bit that can be a massive challenge. Who is that self?
It’s a process of continual exploration. As I endeavour to be more myself I grow and deepen and change - and exactly what self is and expresses as grows.
And yet there’s also a quality to us that defines us. Look at the people around you. Each person has their own particular quality. It can be easy to forget that we have our own particular quality as we are busy living inside it.
Embodying the particular quality that is you is one of the most rewarding journey’s you can take.
Having the courage to ‘be a man’ also requires us to own and be willing to express all parts of ourself.
Our emotions, thoughts, desires, strengths, vulnerability, etc..
We are told by so much around us that we are not OK. So much advertising rests on getting at our insecurities and telling us we need something to be accepted, popular, liked or loved.
It’s easy to get the impression that you’re not what is wanted.
And yet this is exactly what is really wanted. You. Me. Us.
When we have the courage to start being ourselves, the world changes.
It takes a deep honesty and courage to do it. It takes a lot of strength. Yet we don’t have to do it alone. There is an increasing amount of work, really good work that is helping men to be more themselves.
Connect to it.
I’m also co-facilitating with Martina Hughes of Tantric Blossoming the upcoming ‘Being Man’ retreat near Melbourne, Australia. Check it out here.