When you're in a hole, start digging

Do you willingly go into the darkness, into the wild forest, into those places within you really don’t want to go?

I was sitting with my friend Kurt Shean the other day talking about the deep dark holes we’d both been in recently. About the transformation in them.

Then he came out with this:

“When you’re in a hole, start digging”

A 'YES!' lit up my being.

It's such a good way to phrase a process so important to me.

One of the most important disciplines I’ve learnt.

It’s at the heart of the rebirth of my masculinity. And it’s still driving my growth.

It's central to my personal life and business.

Instead of trying to get away from the discomfort, go into it.

I see so many people trying to get away from their pain. And so many people getting advice on how to get out of the hole.

Get out without finding the chest of gold at the bottom, under all the shit. And when they get out, they pretty much always end up back in the hole.

I’d say it’s even the core common issues I see in men I start working with.

Which is understandable. It doesn’t feel good to be there. We instinctively move away from pain.

Anywhere but what you’re feeling feels like it’s surely the right place to be in that moment
It can even feel existentially threatening. Which it may well be an existential threat to the personality construct you’re used to.

My advice?

  • Stop. Breathe.
  • Allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling. It’s not going to kill the real you, the you inside your identity.
  • And then sink deeper. Go to where you don’t want to go.
  • Feel the pain more. Yes, more.
  • SEE
  • Let what you’re feeling be exactly what it is, feel it all.

Then, instead of your hole having you in it’s grip, you have your hole in your grip.


  • What if this hole is where your treasure is?
  • Where your power is?
  • The key to your growth?

Allow the experience of it, the process of it, to unfold. See it for what it is. See and feel the hidden depths.

When you do become coherent with it, something remarkable nearly always happens: It changes. Shifts. Transforms.

You step into your Sovereignty.

A pathway opens that you couldn’t see before. The way out of the hole was deep underneath the hole.

It can be a tough path.

But I can tell you, build this muscle and you will be capable of so much more, your power will radiate, you can turn much more shit into gold.

Try this when you’re next in a hole and let me know how you go.

If you want support to start digging (and a whole bunch of other amazing embodied wisdom), check out my Qigong courses or Coaching.

Go deeper, be more of yourself.

With Respect,